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1.
To the Ocean 01:56
2.
Baby, I’m waiting, waiting for rain Anymore sunshine, I might go insane I know your telephone’s working just fine So why won’t you answer this time You said you loved me (and I know you do) You said you loved me (and you know it too) So why are you frightened (and running away) And why do you say that you don’t love me anymore It can’t be easy to tell me those lies Just so you’re covered this time Why do you push me, push me away When all that I want is to stay You said you loved me (and I know you do) You said you loved me (and you know it too) So why are you frightened (and running away) And why do you say that you don’t love me anymore I shouldn’t be so hard on you all the time You’re not the only one who’s telling lies But I only tell them, but I only tell them But I only tell them to myself Baby, I’m waiting, waiting for rain Anymore sunshine, I might go insane Outside my window sun beating down Next time I won’t be around You said you loved me (and I know you do) You said you loved me (and you know it too) So why are you frightened (and running away) And why do you say that you don’t love me anymore
3.
In a fog I walked across the road To a place I’d never been before I looked back and I saw my house I looked forward and saw nothing at all I heard a siren in my sleep last night, I woke I reached out to touch you but touched only empty air I felt a space in the night where you’d been But the echo’s soft returning told me you were never there Moon rising in an open sky He’s smiling down on you I read his face, he’s lonely too In love with a planet he never knew I heard the wind in the telephone lines Outside I saw a Christmas decoration blowing in the snow I saw a Woolworth’s shut up tight for the night And inside a plaster mannequin with nowhere else to go On a bitter night in cold Tennessee Up hill and down I see lights in the windows of warm houses Five hundred miles from my home I heard a baby crying way in the backseat His mama sang so gentle and she made it all alright I’ve seen the road stretch so far ahead, so far behind And you and I just shadows hurtling on into the night
4.
Darling, one hundred pleasures, one hundred heartaches And then I come home I work the night through, you work so hard too Lord knows, we try to keep from losing our way And we fall into bed, and we fall into bed And we fall into bed as the city rises One day when it’s all over, what will we have, dear To prove we’re alive We’ll have our children, we’ll have our memories We’ll have each other for the rest of our lives And we’ll fall into bed, and we’ll fall into bed And we’ll fall into bed as the city rises
5.
No Horizon 03:25
I know you’ve been scared out of your mind I think you remember I know what you saw, I saw it too You have to remember I love you, I love you And I want you back again with me I love you, I love you And I want you back again with me I love you, I love you And I want you back again with me You ran to a place no one could go I think you can hear me I know you’re afraid, aren’t we all You have to believe me I love you, I love you And I want you back again with me I love you, I love you And I want you back again with me I love you, I love you And I want you back again with me And in a dream you were flying You spread your wings and took the air And in your dreams there’s no horizon, no horizon
6.
On a hilltop far away she lies Where they left her in the driving rain Beneath the stormy skies She was someone, now she’s no one at all And there’s no one left to care And no one left to call In a bedroom far away I sleep Wait for footsteps long cherished and gone Memories run deep I’m not lonely, just wondering what to do I had a love, now she’s gone How ‘bout you If you found someone, never let them go If you love someone, be sure and let them know ‘Cause time slips away and soon your chances will be gone And the person fades away as the memories linger on On a hilltop they buried my heart six feet down And the love that gave me life Is underneath the ground And they tell me that she’s gone to a brighter, better place But I’d give anything just to see her face And they tell me angels sing for good folks gone away But I’d give anything for just another day
7.
Out on the porch, watching the cars I’m inventing a story That I’ve known all my life Where a girl meets a boy and a boy meets a girl And they never know nothin’ ‘Bout the weight of the world The weight of the world The weight of the world She saw his ad on the back page Caught your eye on the subway But I looked away When a girl meets a boy and a boy meets a girl And they never know nothin’ ‘Bout the weight of the world The weight of the world The weight of the world And she said: The more time you spend Wondering about what can go wrong The less time you have to be free The less time you worry Wondering how’s it all going to end The more time you spend with me After a while they fell in love They had nothing to stop them It was easy enough When a girl meets a boy and a boy meets a girl And they never know nothin’ ‘Bout the weight of the world The weight of the world The weight of the world The weight of the world And they never know nothin’ ‘Bout the weight of the world The weight of the world The weight of the world The weight of the world The weight of the world
8.
Fish 03:34
Seems like it was a dream But I think it was the basement A picture of a man in a little blue bathing suit Coming up out of the sea Out of the endless ocean Just like Gamera or Submariner And I found him down by the washing machine (He’s the fish of my dreams) He’s the king of the fishes and the blue and green (He’s the fish of my dreams) And when he smiles at me I see how scary it could be There’s nothing scarier than being lost In the middle of the ocean He stood arms akimbo Fingers breaking the surface And I knew someday he’d break mine Under the water Pretty as a picture Like those mermaids down in Florida And I found him down by the washing machine (He’s the fish of my dreams) He’s the king of the fishes and the blue and green And when he smiles at me I see how scary it could be There’s nothing scarier than being lost In the middle of the ocean And when he smiles at me (He lives underneath the waves) I see how scary it could be (He gives me pause because he says) There’s nothing scarier than being lost In the middle of the ocean If I get a camera Take a vacation And go to the islands will I find him If I get a tuna And I get a flounder Can I bring him home to mama And I found him down by the washing machine (He’s the fish of my dreams) He’s the king of the fishes and the blue and green And when he smiles at me I see how scary it can be And when he smiles at me I see how scary it could be
9.
Oh, I’ve heard there’s no reason to be alone And oh, I’ve heard that it’s senseless to sit at home But if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nowhere to go And if the man you want couldn’t stay Then there’s no one to know And if the man you need’s got another life And it’s lived without you And if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nothing left to do Oh, I know, I know I ought to look around But oh, it’s hard when the man you want You’ve already found But if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nowhere to go And if the man you want couldn’t stay Then there’s no one to know And if the man you need’s got another life And it’s lived without you And if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nothing left to do My friend’s think I’m crazy I tell them I’m not When you’ve had the best you can’t forget What ought to be forgot Oh, sometimes I imagine he’ll come back to me So till that time I’ll keep myself company But if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nowhere to go And if the man you want couldn’t stay Then there’s no one to know And if the man you need’s got another life And it’s lived without you And if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nothing left to do And if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nothing left to do And if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nothing left to do And if the man you love’s gone away Then there’s nothing left to do
10.
I got a postcard today Here’s what it said: I am leaving you I wish you were dead Don’t go away (don't go away) Don’t go away (baby, don't go) I got a postcard, I’ve got to cry It said: I’m leaving you, I love you, goodbye Don’t go away (don't go away) Don’t go away (baby, don't go) I know I never said what you needed to hear But if you come back baby, I’ll still be here Don’t go away (don't go away) Don’t go away (baby, don't go) Don’t go away (don't go away) Don’t go away (baby don't go) I got a postcard today Here’s what it said
11.
Trench 04:41
It’s hard growing up in a hard place In this city made of stone They push you and they push you Before you’re hardly grown Sleeping by the window Trying to get some air The only sound is sirens But no one really cares And I want to believe that there’s hope In this world made of pain But everyday I only lose my hope again And I try not to read the papers But I see them on the ground A week ago last Monday They shot my best friend dead They shot him for the coat he wore So they shot him in the head Cops found him on the subway Nobody was around So without the coat I lent him He died there on the ground And I want to believe that there’s hope In this world made of pain But everyday I only lose my hope again And I try not to read the papers But I see them on the ground It’s hard to find any hope in a hard place Hard to keep any hope in a hard place My little brother’s working Bagging groceries in a store Sometimes he makes a dollar Sometimes a little more Hey friend, can you remember When you were eight years old Did you have to make some money To keep your family from the cold It’s hard growing up in a hard place No one to hear you cry And I know I’ll feel this pressure Until the day I die And I want to believe that there’s hope In this world made of pain But everyday I only lose my hope again And I try not to read the papers But I see them on the ground It’s hard to find any hope in a hard place Hard to keep any hope in a hard place Help me find some hope in this hard place
12.
It’s smooth, it’s round It’s in my hand, it’s in my hand If I want to I can pull it shut There’s a lock but I know Where the key is found Should I take the key Throw it down, throw it down And shut you out completely I know what hurts And I know how to stop it If I want to I can breath again My head says, Pull My heart says, No, don’t Can I close the door, can I close the door Can I close the door in my heart Without shutting you out completely Completely Completely Completely
13.
All I ask for Is a love and a star to steer us by You, you, you Isn’t heaven a nice idea But I don’t want to wait until I die You, you, you Pull me out of my landlocked state Give me wings to fly away Bring me closer than the angels can In my circus Everyone flies and flies without a net You, you, you If I misstep Won’t you tell me you’ll be there to catch You, you, you Pull me out of my landlocked state Give me wings to fly away Bring me closer than the angels can All I ask for Is a love and a star to steer us by
14.
Dancin' Slow 03:09
Seems I've been casting around In waters too deep where I’m likely to drown Where the only catches are ones I won’t keep Playing with matches when I go to sleep Till just the other day When I had a man come my way And this is what that fellow had to say He said: Whatever happened to dancing slow In your own bedroom with the lights down low Whatever happened to holding hands And saving kisses for a real romance Wait, says I, how can you be real In this day and age to say what you feel Aren’t you afraid that they’ll laugh in your face How can you be open with no hiding place But he just smiled at me As if anybody could see The wisdom of his strange philosophy He said: Whatever happened to dancing slow In your own bedroom with the lights down low Whatever happened to holding hands And saving kisses for a real romance I opened my eyes but it wasn’t a dream In this day and age, how can a man Be what he seems And saying: Whatever happened to dancing slow In your own bedroom with the lights down low Whatever happened to holding hands And saving kisses for a real romance

credits

released January 1, 1992

This album was originally released on CD in 1992 by Rich Hopkins' San Jacinto label in Tucson, AZ.

Songs 1-11 were recorded at Westwood in Tucson, AZ,
and engineered and mixed by Eric Westfall, and produced by Eric and Caitlin at the Control Center, Hollywood, CA.

Songs 12-14 were recorded, engineered, and mixed by David Slutes, and produced by David and Caitlin at his Sitting Duck Studio in Tucson. AZ.

All songs were written by Caitlin, except The City Rises, by Caitlin, Jim Colarusso, and Eric Westfall. All song copyright Minglewood Music.

Original dedication read:

Thanks our friends and families, Rich Hopkins, Eric Westfall, and especially Kelly and Susan, Juli and Anne, and Mary and Lisa for helping me shoot through.

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Caitlin von Schmidt Greenfield, Massachusetts

Caitlin lives in western Mass with her husband, kid, and cat.

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